I hate taking pregnancy tests. Both times when we’ve been trying for a baby I’ve been too impatient to wait to be late and I’ve wasted so many tests. And honestly, I find that text “Not pregnant” on Clearblue digital tests just rude. I wish it said “not this time love, but soon!” The disappointment sucks. And sometimes I don’t stop hoping even after the negative test and then I get disappointed (again) when my period starts. How can I be so stupid!? Why can’t I just be patient and wait? I would find out eventually, right?”
This time around I had a more justified reason to be hopeful however! If you’ve read my post “How to get pregnant fast?” you’ll know that I’ve been tracking my cycle with the Ava bracelet ever since my first post partum period at the end of February, 15-months after Maia was born and three weeks after I had stopped breastfeeding. It’s fair to say my cycle was a bit all over the place. My first cycle was 35-days long and unfortunately we missed the fertile window because my husband was on a week-long ski trip. Second time we tried, my cycle was closer to normal (29 days) but I ovulated much earlier than expected and we missed it again. Third time around I was prepared and let’s just say we were very motivated to make a baby!
On Monday May 20th 2019, cycle day 28, I decided to go for it and take a pregnancy test. Based on the rise on my body temperature and other parameters measured by the Ava fertility tracker, I think I ovulated around cycle day 16-18 (7th-9th May) in which case it should be at least 10 DPO (days past ovulation) and the early detection pregnancy tests claim they can detect pregnancy from about 8 DPO (or 6 days before expected period, depends on your cycle length). I had really wanted to take a test on the weekend before when I would have had time to digest the news at home, positive or negative, but I didn’t want to risk testing too early. It’s just such an emotional rollercoaster! Strangely I had dreamed about a positive pregnancy test two nights in a row – was it a sign?
So on Monday morning, just after 6am when my husband had gotten up with Maia, I sneaked into the bathroom with my sticks. I was so nervous. I’ve always felt like those three minutes you have to wait after taking a pregnancy test are just so looooong! This time though, I didn’t have to wait. In about five seconds the second line (indicating pregnancy) appeared. It was faint but clear! I am pregnant! ❤️ I thought my heart could burst with happiness!!
I ran downstairs and my husband asked me why I was up so early, and then he saw it. We just sat in silence and smiled in disbelief – we’re going to have another child! Maia is going to be a big sister! Such an amazing thing and yet so difficult to actually comprehend. We are creating a new little person to come into our lives.
It was hard to focus on work that day!
Our trip to Ibiza later that week (see my previous post) couldn’t have come at a better time. It gave my husband and I a few days to digest the news and relax and enjoy some one-on-one time together. And of course it was a great opportunity to tell our friends of whom many were at the wedding we were in Ibiza to celebrate. I know it’s quite unusual to tell about a pregnancy at such early stage, but I feel like I want to share things with the people in my life, good and bad. We hid the first pregnancy from most people until the 3-month scan, but to be honest i found it very stressful and it was harder to enjoy and be happy about it. In Finland we say that “shared joy is the greatest joy” and I really believe that.
My husband agreed to telling our friends but he insisted on keeping the news “offline” for the first months. I of course respected his wish as the baby is equally his, and so we did not announce publicly until today, July 18th, after good news in the 3-month ultrasound scan!
I’m so excited to share this journey with you again! Over the coming days and weeks I will be publishing a series of posts I wrote during the first trimester.
xoxoxo,
Sini