I was debating on whether or not to write about hypnobirthing before giving birth because obviously it’s too early for me to say whether it’ll help on the big day. But I’ve come to realise that regardless of what will happen when I go into labour, having taken the hypnobirthing course and having practiced the techniques for the past ten weeks have already had a very positive impact on how I feel about my second pregnancy and the approaching labour. I won’t go into detail on what hypnobirthing is or what the course entails, you can quickly Google this information, but instead I’ll focus on why I chose to try it, what my understanding of it is, and how it’s helped me so far. After our son is born I will update you on how my hypnobirthing went (or didn’t)!
Why I wanted to try hypnobirthing?
I consider myself to be more rational than spiritual person and primarily base my decisions on careful analytical approach backed by scientific evidence. Despite hoping for a birthing experience as natural as possible, I did not properly research hypnobirthing as a coping strategy for labour during my first pregnancy as it sounded a bit hippy-dippy to me. I practiced pregnancy yoga and listened to free audios of positive birthing affirmations and I thought this would suffice. I’d already paid over £300 for the NCT antenatal course and was not keen on spending more money either.
When I went into established labour I was in shock of the pain and the intensity as well as the duration of the process. I forgot about the positive affirmations and breathing, lost confidence in myself and felt scared and overwhelmed. I eventually caved in when I was, once again, offered the diamorphine injection despite having explicitly written on my birth plan I did not want to take any drugs which would affect my baby. The no doubt well-meaning midwife made me feel like I was not coping and was confident the labour would still take hours and hours. Having been in labour for over 17-hours at that point, I was exhausted and emotional, and I believed her. The drug took the edge off the pain and I was able to relax a bit and to rest, which I believe was the main reason my labour that had been stalling to progress quickly after that. But it also meant I was not allowed into the birthing pool which I had hoped to try as a form of pain relief. The injection made me sick and hazy and I continued to feel that way after my daughter was born, making it impossible for me to hold her and enjoy the first hours of her life. Maia was born small (which no one had expected) and was also affected by the drug making our attempts of breastfeeding fail in the first 12 hours. Of course I am very happy I had a successful vaginal birth with a few quick pushes and no damage to either my baby nor me, which I believe was helped by not having had an epidural. In hindsight, my husband and I agree that taking the injection was the right decision because we were out of other coping tools at that point. I only wished it had not come to that as I think my baby and I would have had a much more pleasant start to our life together without it… This is why I decided to look into hypnobirthing in my second pregnancy – to add this tool into my box of coping mechanisms.
What is hypnobirthing?
In essence, hypnobirthing is about reprogramming your mind not to be afraid of the process of labour and to trust you can do it. Fear leads to tension and tension leads to pain. We want to avoid being afraid and going into that “fight or flight” mode because that’s when we release adrenaline signalling our bodies that this is not a good time to make ourselves vulnerable by giving birth. On the contrary, feeling calm and safe will help to speed up the natural process of labour by releasing the love hormone oxytocin. There is plenty of solid research about the link between the mind and body, and how we experience pain for example. The power of the mind is incredible and for example top athletes have long used visualisations and positive affirmations to prepare (and no one calls them hippies!). The first session with my hypnobirthing teacher focused on laying down the scientific evidence with anecdotes supporting this link between the mind and the body which proves that using these techniques will help with coping with labour pain. I was convinced.
But I can say from experience that it’s very hard to stay calm and relaxed, soft and open, when the labour pains really kick in. I just wanted to clench up and cry and even begged my poor husband to make it all go away. If I’d hit my big toe painfully on the corner of the dining table leg, I know I’d be more likely to let out a loud and angry “f***” rather than an “oommmm”. But this is probably why my first birthing experience was so scary (and painful).
The effectiveness of the hypnobirthing techniques relies on practice and repetition. For example the positive affirmations need to be repeated daily to really sink in! Through listening to the relaxation tracks our mind starts to associate the music with the feeling of calm. Reading/listening to the scripts will help to, for example, associate hands on the bump with deeper relaxation which is very beneficial because the midwives will be feeling our bellies throughout labour and we don’t want that to pull us back from the “labour land”. Understanding the physical process of labour and attaching visualisations and breathing techniques to the different stages can help us to feel in control (even when we are not), such as using the “up breathing” with visualisation of bubbles rising into the sky when the uterus is working upward to thin and dilate the cervix, and using “down breathing” visualising snowflakes falling down when our bodies are working to push the baby downward.
During the course we learned about different ways to help my mind to stay in the bubble of positivity and calm. The language used before and during labour is important and how replacing words such as “pain” and “contraction” with for example “intensity” and a “wave” can help. Also creating a calm and safe space is important, although not very easy if you’re not having your baby at home. I’m hoping to give birth again at the same midwife-led birthing centre at the hospital, but this time I will make extra effort in making the room a bit nicer by bringing my own “moon lamp”, our family photo and my music. I have also requested minimal number of people and chatting in the room while I’m in labour. The role of the birthing partner, my husband in our case, is to protect my bubble. This is why it’s important that he actively participated in the course.
One important part of the course and also a key theme of a brilliant book I read called “The Positive Birth Book” was claiming back power over what happens to us mums in labour by understanding our central role in the birth of our babies. Yes, birth is unpredictable but so is life and that doesn’t stop us from planning and preparing for different occasions! In every situation we have a choice, even if that’s simply action vs. inaction. We can’t demand for a certain type of labour and birth but we absolutely have the power to decide what is being done to us. In other words, mother’s consent is required for everything. I found this realisation very empowering. Even if I would agree and consent to every single thing proposed by my carers, just knowing that I can always challenge the doctors and ask for more information and then refuse if I so decide, makes me feel less helpless and less of a victim of labour. I definitely felt like a victim last time, like labour was happening to me and things were being done to me. I’m a control freak and this made me very anxious and worried.
So that’s the brief summary of my understanding (and what I recall 10 weeks later!) of what hypnobirthing is mainly about.
Who is it for?
I honestly feel that what I learned about training my mind and how to approach challenging situations can be applied to various life situations, not just labour. And definitely not just for those hoping for a natural, unmedicated birth! So really, I’d say everyone can benefit from it. I would definitely like to be able to stay calmer and more positive in many situations!
I’d also like to add that it was a lovely experience to do it together with my husband. The autumn had been so busy at work for us that we barely saw each other during the week and the weekends revolved around Maia and her never ending toddler needs. The hypnobirthing course and the homework were time dedicated to us as a couple and our unborn baby. Very precious.
My husband and I had a private (KGH) hypnobirthing course at our home over four sessions which took place after we had put Maia to bed. This was the only way we could make it work when we were both working full time, with no childcare for Maia in the evenings. I actually found my teacher Brenda by attending her pregnancy yoga class. There was something about her… Even my husband, a man of few words, said rather poetically “she has a good spirit”. Well whatever it was, made me go speak to her after the class and that’s when I learned that she was also a hypnobirthing teacher. I felt strongly that she could help me and so we booked a course. So I had not actually actively looked for a course or a teacher although I had thought about it! We started the course when I was 29-weeks pregnant and we had the four 3h sessions over four weeks, slotting them into our busy work calendars. I think this was a good time to do the course because it left most of the third trimester to actually practice the techniques (listen to the tracks, read the scripts and affirmations).
Now we are just days away from the birth of our boy, I’m 39-weeks + 1-day pregnant today. That’s when Maia’s labour started. I’ve had contractions (or “waves” as I should say) on-off all day and just in case, I’ve moved my hospital bag and the baby’s car seat downstairs. The labour has not started yet though but my gut feeling says it won’t be long now. I’m doing my best now to create and stay in the bubble of happiness and calm.
I would love nothing more than to have my baby enter this world to a mum who is clear headed, happy and calm! Fingers crossed!
xoxoxo,
Sini