I recently attended a training course called “How to make an impact in meetings” which I had thought would be very relevant to me since I’m in a client facing role in investment banking. The intensive, one-day course was lead by Esther Stanhope who, in my opinion, is a brilliant public speaker and an influencer herself. What I didn’t expect however, was the inspiring pep talk I ended up receiving from her!
In my one-on-one session with Esther we used as a practice case my upcoming mid-year appraisal discussion with my boss about a promotion at the end of the year. We started by reviewing the basics of influencing – thinking about the target audience and their interests. To make an impact you need to package your ideas and messages in a way that appeal to the listener. It so easy to focus on what you want because, at the end of the day, that’s what we all are primarily interested in. This is also why you’ll never get what you want by simply saying you want it (unless you are a toddler who somehow seem to get their way…). To win an audience you need to give them what they want.
“Have a core message that’s targeted perfectly for your audience!”
As a mum who’s recently (ok, 7 months ago) returned to work from my maternity leave, when I think about my career I inevitably think about the sacrifices I’ve made to continue my career and how hard it has been trying to balance work and family life. How I deserve a gold medal for being such a champ and showing up every morning. But when I negotiate for a raise and promotion with my boss, these arguments are absolutely irrelevant to him! On a personal level he might sympathise but honestly, he doesn’t care and it definitely won’t win me anything (except pity points, maybe?). That’s what Esther told me. She said “Sini they don’t care. It’s your decision to show up every day and what you sacrifice to do so, is not important nor interesting to anyone but you. Instead, think about what does matter to your bosses.” So we brainstormed and I came up with things like revenues, league table position, reputation (gender equality) etc. So I drafted an elevator pitch for my promotion around how I had and would continue to contribute to those things, dropping key words that would catch his interest. I practiced the delivery of the speech by doing it over and over again while being filmed. Talk about pushing myself out of my comfort zone!😄
So the training course itself was brilliant, I had expected nothing less from the “impact guru”. But as I mentioned, it was the private woman-to-woman, mother-to-mother pep talk that I received which I really valued! Esther is a successful entrepreneur and a business woman in addition to being a mother as well. She quickly (and rightly) saw that my biggest challenge at the moment is self-doubt. Ever since I came back from 13-months of maternity leave I’ve had this awful doubt about my skills and talent for the job. And now, being pregnant (again!) while pitching for a promotion isn’t helping. So she did her best to encourage me and to make me believe in myself.
“Do not underestimate your courage, talent and resilience. You have achieved a great deal. Your confidence will grow and grow, think LONG term rather than quick fix.”
Don’t ever think you are stuck. There are always ways to change your life and career to make it work for you and your family. I’m educated and skilled and have a long work experience – why then, am I so scared I’ll run out of options career wise?
Why a complete stranger would care enough to go the extra mile for me the way I felt Esther did, I don’t know, but I am so grateful for her kind words and good advice.
I walked out of the room thinking that “yeah, maybe can be the next role model for women.” 😊
The next day I had that discussion with my boss, and even if I say so myself, I nailed it.
As Oscar Wilde says
“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken”.
And because you’re awesome! 😊
xoxoxo,
Sini