I’m back home! And by home I mean Finland 🙂
No number of years abroad will ever change the fact that this is where I was born and grew up. Where my hair colour is considered normal and where people know how to pronounce and spell my name!
I’ve started my three week summer holiday and am spending the first five days in Helsinki, enjoying the Finnish summer and spending time with friends and family. I love being here but after two days I’m actually home sick! How bizarre is that?? Mainly I miss my baby’s dad of course, who had to stay behind as his holiday won’t start until next week.
After seven years outside my country I’ve learnt to accept that I will always feel slightly torn between places. Being pregnant has made me think of this even more as I also acknowledge my children are unlikely to feel this way. My girl will be London born and although I intend to apply for a dual citizenship for her, she is likely to feel her roots are in the UK, like her father’s.
I plan to speak to her in Finnish and we will visit Finland every year. I intend to show her the best things in my country; the lush green nature, the blue see and lakes, fresh air… It won’t be the same but maybe she’ll develop some sort of a connection with Finland over time.
I’ve come to realise her childhood will be very different from mine. Just the fact that we live in a big city will make things different. We hope to find a house somewhere relatively green and peaceful, but as long as we live in central London our children will need to be accompanied everywhere they go (for safety) and space will always be limited. No cycling to school, popping by the horse stables in the afternoon or going ice skating in the nearby park in the winter.
Of course we believe London has also good things to offer – most importantly the cultural diversity which will hopefully teach our child open mindedness and appreciation for people different to us. It’ll be interesting to watch her develop a cultural identity having parents from different backgrounds and living in a cultural melting pot that is London.
Can you believe that the above picture of a river is taken just a 20-minute drive away from the centre of the capital? In London you would barely get to Soho from Angel in 20 minutes… When I lived here I longed for something more, something different, although as my brother says, you have everything you need here, but in a small scale. In my view, it’s a picturesque little bubble and while I don’t disagree it’s a great place to live in, I also believe it’s healthy to at least make visits outside of it for perspective…
Choosing a place to live feels like a big decision when it’s no longer just you. I find comfort in the thought that we can always move if we find the city life eventually unsuitable for our family. Not too far though as we both work in finance but I’m sure we’ll find a compromise. I’ll have to speak to other international families in London to find out how they make it work! (Feel free to comment below or email me to share your experiences!)
In the meantime I will enjoy my time off… It’s funny how quickly I regress to a little girl in our family home – I even rummaged through the kitchen cupboards for a cookie jar (which I found, ha!).
Oh and my pregnancy is going well, still sailing through it! 21 weeks and 4 days now and my baby’s kicks are getting stronger and stronger – I could even see my belly move the other night!
xoxoxo,
Sini