It’s 8am and I’m lying on the sofa with my baby on my chest, feeling like a zombie, scratching dried baby poo off my hands. I’m sipping my reheated coffee careful not to spill it on the baby. It had been another bad night…
I never intended to sleep with my baby in the same bed. I’m paranoid about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and had read plenty of research and guidance on safe sleeping prior to her birth. I had planned to have Maia sleep in her Moses Basket, on her back, next to our bed. She has a firm mattress with a fitted sheet, no bumpers or cushions, just a cellular blanket to be tucked below her arms (she’s still too small for sleeping bags which are recommended for babies who are 4kg and more). Great plan.
Trying to be realistic, we did prepare for the scenario where my partner would sleep next door during the week when he is working, since he is a light sleeper and couldn’t help much during the night anyway since I breastfeed exclusively (for now). What I didn’t think might happen is our baby ending up sleeping with me in our bed instead!
After the first week however, it had become clear that if I wanted to get any sleep whatsoever, Maia would have to sleep next to me. She is not a fussy baby but really wants to be held most of the time. While this has slightly improved over these first 2.5 weeks, she still wouldn’t sleep in her bed for more than an hour (which is the current record, five minutes is more typical). Additionally, on most nights she still feeds every 1-2 hours which makes co-sleeping the most sensible option.
For now, trying to make Maia sleep in her bed seems to be a battle I can’t win and so I’ve tried to make our co-sleeping as safe as possible.
- Sleeping with just one adult is safer than two which also supports her daddy sleeping next door
- I only have one pillow in the bed for me and I keep it away from her
- Maia sleeps in the middle to minimise the risk of her falling out of the bed (neither side is against the wall) and I even put cushions on the floor (paranoid mum)
- Maia has her own cellular blanket and I try to keep my duvet away from her
I’m not worried about rolling over her as I don’t manage to go to a deep sleep anyway and I am very aware of her. My biggest concern is the duvet because of the potential suffocation risk and I’m trying to be very careful with it!
On the bright side, baby cuddles are the best! It also puts my mind at ease to hear her breathing and to feel her next to me. Thirdly, breastfeeding is comfortable and easy in bed and not having to get up every time makes it easier for me to fall asleep again after feeding her.
After nearly three weeks of sleeping with my baby girl instead of my partner I have to say that I miss him. Sleeping in separate rooms and beds is not a long term solution and we keep trying to settle Maia in her own bed, even if just for an hour a day. I try to find comfort in knowing that she will eventually sleep in it and even in her own room, someday.
We’ve made some progress with day time naps and Maia has slept in the “Sleepyhead” pod. It’s not 100% certain whether these pods are safe to use unsupervised and so I only put her in it during the day when I’m awake. Her sleeping in it is definitely progress as initially Maia would only sleep in my lap which meant I couldn’t get anything done during her sleep!
We don’t sleep much during the night, which of course was to be expected with a newborn. But we have had a few good nights so there is hope! During the best night so far Maia woke up at 1am, 4am and 7am for a feed and nappy change. I felt so good and energetic the following day!!
Unfortunately Maia has been suffering from colic lately which has made her very uncomfortable, irritated and upset. Usually the tummy issues are the worst in the evening but sometimes our nights are impacted too. So far we have tried giving Infacol, warm baths, and massage. Hopefully this won’t last for long for everyone’s sake…
xoxoxo,
Sini