You might think that amidst the sleep deprivation thanks to our teething baby, a second baby would be the last thing in my mind. But funnily enough, it isn’t. On the contrary it’s been on my mind quite a lot recently. The question for us isn’t whether we want another child or not, it’s about when to give it a chance – me and my husband would both want more children, although we of course feel blessed already with our daughter. Maia is only 9.5-months old and still very little, so this isn’t about me missing having a little one to cuddle. But watching her grow so very quickly makes me more aware of the time ticking away. I’d love Maia to have a sibling not too far apart in age and also I’m not getting any younger, not that 33 is old but still… It’s got me thinking – when is it the right time to start trying for baby number two?
I’ve listed some pros and cons below to help me decide while scrolling through pictures of newborn Maia… My god how cute and tiny she was!
Why go ahead and give it a chance?
- Small age gap between two children would (maybe) make them better playmates
- I believe a sibling would teach Maia to become a more considerate and caring person and would teach her to share
- Another maternity leave would allow me to stay at home when Maia is still little instead of leaving her with a nanny
- We wouldn’t get the chance to get too comfortable after Maia’s baby year and hence another baby year wouldn’t (perhaps) feel as daunting
- I feel good in my body and feel physically and mentally recovered from the pregnancy and labour (well almost, I still haven’t forgotten about the labour…)
- I’m 33 years old and falling pregnant might take time and so I wouldn’t want to leave it too late. It might get more difficult to conceive and the risks related to pregnancy rise with mother’s age too
- We have an extra room in our house and all baby gear imaginable from Maia (in pink anyway!)
Why wait?
- Maybe I should give my body more time to recover from my last pregnancy and labour even if I feel ok?
- I am still breastfeeding Maia and to improve our chances of getting my period kick started and getting pregnant again would most likely require reducing/stopping breastfeeding. Planning a new pregnancy alone wouldn’t make me want to stop breastfeeding now that I’m still at home with Maia and she enjoys it. That being said, she is barely on the boob during the day anymore.
- Maia is the centre of our world and I love being able to drown her in love and attention – our Mummy & Baby bubble has still not burst! (However this may not be healthy for Maia’s development so not a very valid argument)
- I have been tired already with just one child and should we get pregnant again soon, “two under two” would be pretty full-on. There’s no guarantee Maia will be sleeping through the night any time soon and we don’t have family around to help either. Waiting until Maia is a bit older and more independent (sleeping through, out of nappies, eating independently) would make more sense from this perspective
- Being pregnant is tiring and going back to work while pregnant and with a 1-year old at home sounds like an exhausting scenario not to mention any potential pregnancy complications!
- Another year off work could be detrimental to my career in finance
Having multiple small children will always be tough, as wonderful as it is! Having decided that we would like more children, we have to accept that it would be a challenge regardless of the timing. And not everything is in our control anyway… So should our family grow in the future, we should just be grateful and (try to) embrace the challenges. 🙂
xoxoxo,
Sini