Based on my experience of two pregnancies, I would highly recommend starting your maternity leave at least a few weeks before the baby is due although that might at first feel like a waste of precious time at home with baby. I understand that many of us, especially those with shorter maternity leaves, would prefer to save these weeks for when the baby has arrived, but personally I found this time very special and important for preparing for the birth of my baby.
In my first pregnancy my plan was to work as long as I could (without really knowing how far along the pregnancy that could realistically be). In the end, I worked up until 37-weeks before I had to stop working because I could no longer (safely) cope with the pace and stress of my job. I ended up spending only two weeks at home alone before baby Maia arrived (a week early), which went in a flash. In hindsight I’m so happy I had that time to myself and I wished I had stopped even earlier instead of pushing myself to the absolute limit, which, as I learned later on, was not really recognised nor appreciated by my employer (not to the extent to make it worthwhile to me). I spent those two weeks resting, nesting, going to the gym and yoga classes. I felt quite anxious and impatient and physically uncomfortable to be honest with you, so it wasn’t like holiday, but it was an important time of mental preparation for motherhood. Not that anything can really prepare you for it, but nevertheless spending that time with your own thoughts and bonding with the bump is useful in my opinion. It was also the last time in months (or years?) I could enjoy pampering myself in such way!
This time I was wiser and I saved part of my annual leave to allow me to stop working at 33-weeks pregnant which also nicely coincided with Christmas. Officially my maternity leave started last week (at 37-weeks pregnant). I had no idea how much harder the third trimester would be now that I already have a toddler – it’s a whole different ball game – but I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. If you’ve read my earlier posts (read here) you’ll know I barely even made it to 33-weeks!
My first weeks off work were spent at the hospital or at home in bed trying to stabilise the pregnancy and to recover from the intensity of last weeks of work. We kept our nanny to look after Maia even when I stopped working (since I’m on annual leave I get paid 100%) so that I would have the chance to rest during the day and go to my doctor appointments without bringing Maia along. I’m not sure how I would have gotten through those weeks otherwise… When I finally felt better I used the chance to play with Maia without needing to take the full responsibility for her daily schedule. All parents of toddlers know how intense it can be!
Maybe it’s because I was so exhausted, but unfortunately I didn’t feel the urge to nest… 🙈 But I pushed myself to get organised and I finally got the newborn baby stuff ready which helped me feel more prepared. And then it was time to prepare for Christmas!
Over the Christmas period our nanny was off for two weeks and we had family visiting so it was quite a busy (but fun) time. Now that our house has quieted down again and I have help with childcare, I’ve revisited my maternity leave to-do list. Maybe this will give you some ideas too! Worth to note, if you have children already and are looking after all of them while being on maternity leave, I salute you. You are my hero and I have no idea how you do it! And please stop reading here because the below list might just make you resent me (I am spoiled, I know). ❤️
Things to do on maternity leave before the baby arrives:
- Spend quality time with my 2-year old Maia but delegate all the tough bits (lol)
- R&R – I struggle to sleep at night so naps are god sent
- Practice the hypnobirthing techniques
- Read the hypnobirthing book and the “Positive Birth Book” (and the “Book for perfectly imperfect parents” just for a laugh!)
- Write the birth plan (or create a Visual Birth Plan like I did)
- Take pregnancy yoga classes (or follow YouTube yoga classes at home), bounce on the birthing ball
- Clear space in the bedroom chest of drawers for baby clothes and nappies (buy newborn nappies). Good incentive for doing an inventory of my own clothes! Ended up donating three bags full of clothes to charity 👍
- Baby gear prep: wash and sort newborn clothes by size, clean the baby car seat and find the newborn insert, set up the Moses basket and wash the bedding, find the carrycot and convert the buggy back to pram (order spare parts as needed)
- Pack the hospital bag and buy supplies (granny pants, maternity pads, snacks etc)
- Have a pregnancy massage and/or reflexology to ease tension and to relax
- Maternity photo shoot – I didn’t do this last time (because I thought it’s vain to spend all that money and I didn’t feel pretty, just big) but now that I’ve seen the drafts of my photographs I am so happy I decided to go for it this time! ❤️ An hour of feeling silly and awkward got me beautiful images to cherish for the rest of my life!
- Get a beauty treatment: mani-pedi/hair/facial/etc whatever bit of me has been the most neglected (my husband said my feet looked like I’d walked through the desert barefoot so I went for a pedicure haha)
- Take lots of bump selfies!
- Write my blog
- Dental check up (still haven’t done this one…)
And because it was the run up to Christmas I also:
- Took pictures of Maia and had Christmas cards made and sent them out
- Bought Christmas presents online (any other form of Christmas shopping when 8-months pregnant is not enjoyable)
- Bought new Christmas decorations and lights online and decorated the house
- Took Maia to see Santa Claus at the Finnish Church’s Christmas fair
- Baked Finnish Christmas pastries (I was going to make gingerbread as well but ran out of time)
- Wrap presents
I also wanted to spend time seeing friends and I’ve managed to see a few so far, most importantly one of my nearest and dearest who just had her second son! ❤️ Now I’m getting a bit more hesitant to run around London by myself when I feel like the baby could decide to come any day! But let’s see if I get bored enough to risk it. 😄
Another common tip is to cook meals into the freezer… It’s definitely a great piece of advice but I hate cooking and it’s just never going to happen so I didn’t even put it on my list.
I haven’t quite gotten through the my list yet (need to book that dentist…) but I’ve still got some time left, either days or weeks!
When I get impatient I try to focus on these three things:
- Health benefits to the baby for staying in the bump for a few more weeks
- My firstborn – these are our last weeks as a family of three and I want to make her feel as loved and as special as ever!
- Me time – soon I will have a newborn in addition to my toddler and I can imagine I’ll miss the breathing space!
What helped you to stay calm and positive during the last weeks of pregnancy? What else would be useful to have done before the little one arrives?
xoxoxo,
Sini