Little old me going against the tide here! While the use of social media has undoubtedly gone through the roof during the past weeks of social distancing and self isolation, with new micro influencers springing up like mushrooms and starting the day on IG Live with homemade banana bread becoming a new standard, I decided to take a break from it. Why?
I started my @fitcitymum Instagram account as an extension to this blog and I soon discovered the higher level of engagement and the sense of community that it can offer. Sharing snippets of our daily life was quick and easy (compared to blog posts) especially on the Insta stories and the reach was pretty impressive to me! I’ve really enjoyed connecting with other women and mums from around the world and it’s made me feel less alone on my journey as a new mum. Maternity leave and stay-at-home-mum life can feel isolated especially with a small baby but via Instagram I could feel connected with (and part of) the society even when I was stuck under a sleeping baby for hours on end. Social media also offers an excellent antisocial way to interact with others, if you’re a bit of an introvert like me! 😃
I’ve been mindful of what I share online (believe it or not) to keep my family safe but to be honest I never saw significant risks because I’m quite boring and have nothing to hide and hey, surely I’m not interesting enough to anyone to stalk! But recently I’ve experienced a few incidents which – although well meaning (I’d like to believe) – did cross a line when it comes to my privacy. I guess sharing my life openly can make some people feel like they know me on a personal level and to act accordingly (for example trying to contact me directly, which can feel a bit scary). So I decided to be even more mindful of what I share publicly, primarily to keep my children safe. Although I must admit I’m still not entirely sure where to draw the line… But I’m working on it!
Safety is one important consideration but it’s not the reason why I decided to take a little break from Instagram. I’ve always considered myself lucky in that I haven’t been discovered by online trolls apart from a few unkind comments here and there. But I’ve recently come to realise that trolls aren’t just faceless, anonymous haters who leave nasty comments on your hairstyle or whatnot. Online trolls can also be other mums, decent (?) people who maybe don’t intend to be judgy but can’t help themselves. What I’ve found especially hurtful and emotionally draining are judgmental comments about my choices as a mother and the way I care for my children. I understand opinions are aplenty, there’s the freedom of speech, and that it’s almost too easy to criticise others on social media. But I’m not a celebrity with a thick skin for haters, I’m just a mum who has decided to be open about topics many shy away from in the hope that my (relatable?) experiences resonate with some of you and we don’t have to feel so alone in trying to do it all and have it all (and not succeeding). It’s sad that even one negative comment can have the power to offset 200 positive ones but sometimes it can come as the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
My baby Noah is now 12-weeks old which means I have not slept properly for over three months (third trimester sleep was also crap). In many ways I love my life, especially my family, and I don’t want to complain, but recently the sleep deprivation has been a big cloud in my paradise. There are days when I feel physically a wreck, but it’s worse than just feeling tired – I feel like the lack of sleep messes with my head making me emotionally unstable and miserable. I know from experience that this will pass as soon as I can sleep a bit more (it feels like fog lifting), but while I’m in survival mode I try to avoid all unnecessary negativity (I definitely do not follow the coronavirus death tolls). So Instagram is something I Marie Kondo’ed out of my life. For a few weeks (?) anyway, as an experiment.
It took awhile to get to three and half thousand Instagram followers organically, with the limited effort and time I have (or could) put into growing my account and the algorithm watering down the little efforts I did make. I love my little community and I really enjoyed engaging with my followers. Will I lose them now? Yes, probably some of them. But since I’m not even trying to monetise my social media, does it matter? I didn’t start my account for the need of an ego boost or external validation, so the number of followers or likes etc should not matter. There’s something funny about the psychology of it all though, and I can admit that it’s easy to get caught up in the online popularity contest.
This blog will carry on though with increased focus from me. 😊 To be notified of new posts you can click “follow” on the blog or “follow/like” the Facebook page Fit City Mum. I do welcome comments and email (fitcitymum@gmail.com)! Just not the nasty ones. 🙈
xoxoxo,
Sini