4 weeks and 3 days pregnant.
Bubbling with happiness and just thinking about my precious little cargo still gets me teary (err…hormones?). While I feel absolutely blessed, the gratefulness was quickly followed by fear of losing the baby!
People talk about the delicate first trimester and the 15-20% miscarriage rate but no one can explain how it feels to fear for the life of the pea-sized bundle of cells that may one day be your child. How you can feel attached to someone who doesn’t strictly speaking exist yet!
While I admit I am an emotional person, I’ve also considered myself to be relatively rational. Well, not anymore it seems. Throughout our Project Baby, it’s been all emotions, both rational and irrational (more of the latter to my partner’s despair).
On Sunday night I noticed a drop of blood on the toilet tissue, which freaked me out. Later, I got increasingly bad stomach cramps and I went to bed in tears thinking I would miscarry. Well, ehem, it turned out to be the heavy Sunday roast I had had, which was causing indigestion rather than a miscarriage…
Although I felt bad about getting the dad-to-be worried too and I’m embarrassed by my reaction, the nervousness has remained. It’s a real risk and while most common causes of miscarriage in the first trimester (such as problems with the chromosomes of the foetus) have nothing to do with what I do or don’t do, anything I can do to prevent it, I will.
Firstly I’ve cut out caffeine and foods that can carry listeria like soft cheeses and sushi, I swapped the Pregnacare pre-conception vitamins to pregnancy vitamins and haven’t taken any pain medication (although Paracetamol would be ok a pharmacist said). I also keep taking additional Omega-3 that should support the baby’s brain development. I will ask for a comprehensive list of foods to avoid/reduce from the doctor in my first appointment. Since I don’t drink alcohol or smoke, no need to make any changes there.
The biggest change I’ve made so far is freezing my membership at my HIIT gym, 1Rebel. I am really hoping to have a healthy and fit pregnancy but I don’t believe this is the time for high intensity training. I’ve looked into getting a membership at a more traditional fitness centre, where I could do my modified workouts at a lower intensity. My boyfriend suggested we both join a new gym and go together – I love the idea but I do think his hidden agenda is to keep an eye on me (not to train too hard)!
Since my high intensity workout last Thursday night (before I found out I was pregnant), I have not done any exercise apart from walking. I haven’t been unwell, but I wanted to figure out how my new exercise routine should look like and join a new gym before getting back to it. Tomorrow night I will go to a yoga class though as I’m starting to feel restless. I will tell the instructor and will try to listen to my body so I’m sure it’ll be fine.
Additionally, I have considered reaching out to a personal trainer specialised in antenatal and postnatal training. I feel a bit insecure about what I could safely do and I would much prefer having a professional plan my routine.
Overall, trying to stay optimistic about this pregnancy is worth it in my view, despite the scary statistics, if it helps me relax a bit.
By the way, I found my boyfriend cleaning the kitchen so that I won’t get any germs – how adorable is that?! Love. Him.
xoxoxo,
Sini