“If newborn babies sleep about 16 hours a day, why are you so tired?”
The stupidest question ever and likely to provoke some aggression from an exhausted new parent.
I started writing a post about our sleep routine about a month ago but didn’t finish it because ironically I was too tired! Gradually our sleeping has improved however, and last weekend we had a break through – Maia slept a full night at 10 weeks old! So now I figured it’s a good time to finish this post. ☺️
In the beginning Maia would only sleep with me (read about our Unplanned co-sleeping) and she would wake up to feed every 1-2 hours. So even if she slept 15-16 hours in a day I was exhausted because I never got more than maximum two hours of uninterrupted sleep. I have to say she has never been an unreasonable baby because she wouldn’t cry at night for no apparent reason, only when she’s hungry or has a dirty nappy. Well, correction, she did cry when we tried to put her into her Moses basket…
I wanted to feed Maia on demand to make sure she got all the milk she needed (still do) but I did soon come to realise that I really needed her to sleep in her bed because the quality of my short sleeps was quite poor when she slept with me, as illustrated below by my Fitbit (January 1st, Maia was 1 month old). This particular day was a bank holiday and so Maia’s dad was able to take her in the morning letting me sleep from 9am until 11am – a rare luxury and my only chance of getting into that deep sleep. Obviously we didn’t stay up to welcome the New Year ha ha!
As I may have mentioned before,I take care of Maia every night in addition to being alone with her during the work days because my partner is working and I’m the one on leave, and because I’m breastfeeding. I was therefore very incentivised to improve our nights and was ready to try every trick in the book!
I tried:
- Evening bath
- Giving Infacol with the evening feed (helps with tummy ache)
- Swaddling (with Gro Snug sleeping bag which leaves hips and legs free to move)
- Rocking
- Lullabies
- White noise (who would have thought Spotify would have it!!)
- Hot water bottle in her bed (before she goes in, not when she’s in it)
- My PJs in her bed to make it smell like me (and my milk)
I’m not sure which trick made the difference but she did start sleeping in her own bed! Only for the first few hours initially, but soon I was able to also settle her back into her basket. I believe the game changer was the Gro Snug sleeping bag for newborns. Maia would often wake herself up with waving her arms – it’s called the Moro reflex that newborns can have. In her sleeping bag she would feel snug and secure and by closing the arm holes with poppers I could stop the arm waving. We both started to sleep so much better!
The first victory was getting Maia to sleep in her own bed. The second was gradually increasing the length of her feeds which meant she could sleep for longer without getting hungry. Maia would often fall back to sleep after a short feed but at this point I would change her nappy which would wake her up and then continue feeding her. This way we eventually got to 3h-2h-1h sleep pattern between 10pm and 6am with about an hour of being awake in between (feed, nappy change, feed again, settle back to sleep). Often around 5am I take her to sleep with me in my bed because that way we could stretch the night a little longer. Occasionally we get her to settle for the night already before 10pm which leaves us some precious “adult time” before going to bed ourselves.
Only very recently we got up to four consecutive hours of sleep per night which felt like a real achievement. One night I was simply too tired to get up when she started stirring and I actually fell asleep again and miraculously so did she! Now I wait a bit before picking her up, maybe give a little stroke as I can reach her from my bed, and see if she falls asleep again. Sometimes we both go on sleeping for another hour or two before she wants a feed. Last week Maia slept for consecutive five hours on two nights before – to our great amazement – sleeping from 10pm until 5.30am on Saturday night! Is this a turning point?!
The following night she woke up once after four hours for a quick feed but then slept for another four hours. Very encouraging! Whether or not this continues, time will tell, but at least I know now that she can do it!
Unfortunately this week my sweet little girl has got her first ever cold and is as snotty as anything, which completely ruined our sleeping for a few nights! She woke up every hour because of her blocked nose, poor thing. I find it hard to sleep myself when I know she’s unwell. Additionally I’m in no better form myself, suffering from the first cold in what must be at least a year. I tried saline drops, a nasal bulb, and raising the end of her Moses basket with books in the hope she (and I) would sleep a bit better. It seemed to have worked because last night Maia slept in her bed from 11.15pm until 5.30am!
Hopefully we’ll beat this cold soon – sleeping more should help us both to recover!
xoxoxo,
Sini
Ps. Having a sick child is just the worst! Even if it’s just a cold. My poor, poor girl…