The second stage of labour, when the cervix is fully dilated and you push the baby out, is the part when things get pretty intense and a bit messy, so skip the rest of this post if that makes you feel uneasy. 😊 But it is also the best part in my opinion, because that’s when I got to actively do something, to push, and when I finally got to meet my baby. ❤️
On January 20th at 5.10pm, we arrived to the birth centre of UCLH (University College London Hospital), just when my labour hit the second stage. I jumped out of the taxi, replied to the driver’s enquiries about if I’m ok with a polite “yes I’m fine thank you” (six years in the UK will do that to you) before heading up to the third floor birthing centre, my husband Oli running after me carrying my hospital bags. We were led into a room with a birth pool (which was empty) and a similar low bed with a big bean bag type of pillow I remember from Maia’s birth. I walked straight over to the bed, stripped down to my underwear and hugged the “bean bag” on my fours. This was my favourite position dealing with contractions last time and it felt good now as well. Maybe I’m just not modest at all but I really don’t care what I wear, or don’t wear, when I give birth – the less clothes the better actually. The people in the room will see everything anyway so I might as well minimise laundry 😄
I was introduced to two different midwives who’s names and faces I’ve already forgotten. I remember them asking if they should set up gas and air and my husband saying yes. Oli gave the midwives my birth plan and other notes and set up my things in the room (the family photo, my moon lamp, snacks and drinks etc) as we had planned. At that point however, it all felt a bit irrelevant to me – I knew I wouldn’t be in that room for long. The midwife in charge had a quick feel of my tummy for the baby’s position and listened to his heart beat with a foetal Doppler. Our baby boy was doing well and was in the perfect position. I couldn’t stay still for long and quickly flipped back around onto my fours as soon as she was done. The midwife went on about wanting to do a vaginal examination to assess how progressed the labour was, saying that would dictate what pain relief they’d offer me. I ignored her because I didn’t want pain relief anyway (“read my birth plan, will you?!”, I thought) and I didn’t need anyone to tell me how dilated I was – I knew my baby was coming very soon. I told Oli to ask them to fill the birth pool before we’d run out of time.
My husband was, once again, great support during the contractions (or “waves” as we called them) encouraging me, holding my hand or stroking my back. Having his hands on my lower back during a wave was the best help! Counter pressure, I suppose. I was focused on breathing and surviving the waves which had reached a whole new level of intensity. The midwife was highly recommending the gas and air (“just back off now, will you?” I thought) and so I tried it but just like during Maia’s birth, I didn’t really like it. I wasn’t all zen and calm but although I must have sounded like a wild horse, I was focused and determined to cope, one wave at a time. Then I felt the head crowning (coming out of me) and a massive urge to push so I shouted “the baby’s coming now!” Trust me, if you’re having an unmedicated birth, you will know when you need to push. The midwife rushed over to me to help my pants off and to guide me push. Now this is the only bit of my labour where I felt she was very helpful as it was the only time I felt my confidence waver. I felt like I was seeing stars and going to pass out from the intensity – I had really struggled to continue breathing through the last wave and had let out a high pitched scream. This is when the midwife said to me, quite sharply, “now stop screaming and focus and your baby’s head will be born in the next push”. I needed to hear that to get my head back in the game and sure enough in the next push his head was born! I know because I looked down and saw it come out. Believe it or not, it was not scary or weird, on the contrary it made me really excited and to want to finish the job quickly! In the next push I felt his body wiggle out of me and I reached down. I lifted him up to my chest with my both hands – he was quite slippery – and the midwife helped me to turn around and to lean back. And there he was, only 40-minutes after we arrived to the hospital, my boy! We named him Noah Oliver. ❤️
I don’t have the words to describe how it felt and yet I will never forget it. His little naked body against my chest, looking at my face, still attached to me by the umbilical cord. The midwife covered us with a towel to avoid our baby getting cold.
My husband suggested they’d turn off the tap not to waste any more water. The birthing pool was redundant now (I could have used a bath though!). Later we joked that each time we get a bit closer to the pool and maybe on the third time I’d actually get in it!
My baby and I just lay there looking at each other… Soon I felt another urge to push and the placenta sort of slipped out while I was holding my baby. This is called the third stage of labour, and it was easy-peasy. I tried not to look at the placenta because I remember it being a bit disgusting looking (call me immature!). The midwife asked if it was ok for her to now cut the cord and we agreed. We had requested to delay the cord clamping and I’m glad this wish was respected – allowing the blood flow from the placenta continue for a few extra minutes will increase the baby’s blood volume by ~30% which is highly beneficial for him. I still don’t know why in Maia’s birth the midwife rushed to give me the syntocinon injection and didn’t wait for the placenta to come out on its own nor why she rushed to cut the cord despite my birth plan stating I wanted to delay the cord clamping, but I’m very happy that this time nature got the chance to finish the job! And it did so fabulously!
While I was holding Noah, the midwife checked my lady bits and confirmed I was fine and didn’t need any stitches. Tearing a bit at childbirth is very normal but it’s nice to have avoided it again as it will make the recovery quicker and less uncomfortable. One benefit of not having an epidural and being able to feel what’s happening is to know when to push and at what force, which helps to prevent tearing. The midwives then left us and we spent two hours just taking it all in. The first hour after birth is called the “golden hour” and I’m grateful for this peaceful and private time we had to bond with our boy. Noah was quick to latch on and seemed natural at breastfeeding. Again, what a different experience to Maia with whom I struggled and stressed over breastfeeding for weeks. Right after Maia’s birth we were both spaced out by the diamorphine and I felt so sick and exhausted that it did not even occur to me to attempt breastfeeding! Of course we got there in the end and I successfully nursed her for 14-months, but nevertheless I was happy that with Noah we got off to a good start straight away.
At 8pm I felt ready to get up and to get showered and changed into clean pyjamas and to move into the room where we’d spend the night. It’s possible to be discharged after six hours from birth if the baby passes all of his checks and feeding is established, but because Noah was born in the evening, we had to wait until the morning for the doctor to perform the checks and tests (they don’t do them at midnight). My husband was holding Noah skin-to-skin on his chest while I was in the shower. The after pains started to kick in as my uterus was contracting with a force. The warm shower relieved some of the pain. We then called the midwife back in to say we were ready to make a move. At that point they weighed and measured Noah: weight 3.065kg, length 54cm, head circumference 35.5cm. There is no rush to bathe and measure the baby immediately after birth and it was nice the midwives waited and gave us the space. We had asked for the Vitamin K injection which is offered to all babies in the UK (against a rare condition where the blood doesn’t clot called haemorrhagic disease of the newborn) and that was given at the same instance. Initially I thought the oral Vitamin K drops would be gentler for the baby, but I wasn’t confident enough in our ability to give him the three doses on our own at home. Also, the oral drops would have been absorbed through his digestive system instead of being injected to his blood stream, which apparently could have some implications as well…
It all felt surreal! Despite the nine-month pregnancy and the long wait to meet him, it felt so unbelievable that he was with us now. My husband must have felt even more blown away since he was in the know (of the labour) only for a few hours before the birthing was done and dusted. I felt high on excitement and love and so the fatigue didn’t kick in until later. I also felt incredibly proud of myself and happy that I had achieved the kind of birth I had hoped for – I felt strong and capable! The first meeting with my baby boy could not have gone better. 🙏 Of course it was my priority to have a safe delivery of a healthy baby, but let me say this again, it’s not all that matters! We matter too and our experience of the birth matters! It’s not the midwife or doctor who delivers the baby, we deliver the baby. So don’t be shy to make your wishes heard to maximise your chances of having the kind of experience you want!
To keep it real, I must also mention that although everything went very well, giving birth is a big physical (and emotional) ordeal and of course I was aching afterwards. I had been warned that the after pains get stronger after every birth, but I had not realised how strong! Since I was breastfeeding straight away, the uterus started contracting immediately and so intensely I shed a few tears. I was given ibuprofen which I was grateful to take. And when I needed a little break to rest without any pain, I would give Noah to his daddy. As soon as I wasn’t holding him the pain would ease (which made me feel a bit sad!). This is normal though… Nursing and cuddling the baby releases more oxytocin which tells the body to start the recovery process and to shrink the uterus. Clever Mother Nature!
My husband nipped out to get us a late dinner and returned with burgers and chips! I had not even realised it but I was starving. We had a giggle eating our burgers in the room in the middle of the night, watching our newest family member sleep. Oli stayed with me at the hospital until 2am and then went home. I was the only woman in the birthing centre (just like when Maia was born) and it was a quiet night. Not something you would necessarily expect at a huge hospital in central London!
Noah didn’t like his bed and slept next to me. I didn’t sleep much but this time I was prepared for it and it didn’t phase me. Instead I spent the night falling in love with my boy, sniffing his hair and kissing his cheeks. He was perfect.
The next morning Noah was checked “top to toe” and passed all tests with flying colours. He also got praise for his beautiful golden hair! My hubby came back to the hospital after having spent a bit of time with Maia at home. He brought me a large coffee from a proper coffee shop and a smoothie – yum! I had been served breakfast, a cup of English breakfast tea and two slices of toast, but I welcomed the additions. We then waited for the BCG vaccination which we had decided to give him (as it was given to Maia as well two years ago). By noon we would have been good to go, but we decided to wait for a bit and go home after Maia had gone down for her afternoon nap. I missed her so much already and could not wait to give her a big hug and a kiss and show Noah to her! But we thought it would be for the best to introduce her to her little brother when she was well rested.
I had shower and ate the lunch offered to me and felt pretty good! And so, less than 18-hours after arriving to the hospital, we left to take our boy home.
It was a beautiful sunny day as we started our new life as a family of four.
xoxoxo,
Sini