Learning to help myself – my top 5 tips to feeling better

Some time ago I reached a point where I felt quite unwell, physically and mentally. Having a newborn baby and a toddler is tough on a good day, but a few weeks into the coronavirus lockdown I felt like I was seriously drowning. The lack of sleep, the post-partum hormonal swings, and the never-ending needs of my kids just left me feeling emotionally and physically drained. My body was aching all over and I felt exhausted and overwhelmed.

I’ve always been prone to stress and anxiety, although I’m also the kind of person who loves fully and laughs loudly. Feels all the feels. Nothing wrong with that as long as I feel happy and balanced overall, but I just need to be weary of the risk of the scales starting to tip. Chronic stress can lead to many physical problems too – I tend to tense my neck and shoulders, grit my teeth while asleep and used to often suffer from headaches and migraines. Especially after moving to London to pursue my finance career, I realised I needed to look after my wellbeing more systematically as the work environment was…[err]…rather destructive to it. I made rookie mistakes such as over-training and under-eating, but over time I became a bit better at finding a balance. However, I’ve now realised that I’ve always heavily relied on others to “fix” me: HIIT bootcamps for the adrenaline hit, yoga classes/retreats for mindfulness and calm, massages for relaxation. Stuck at home with two small kids in a pandemic guarantees one thing: no one will come and fix me (as they are furloughed). I needed to fix myself. Postpartum depression and anxiety are serious and long-lasting conditions and knowing myself, I was headed that direction. I needed to act fast.

I feel better now which gave me the confidence to write this post and to share with you how I’ve been fighting for my wellbeing.

My top 5 tips for self care at home

• Note 1: sleep is not listed below because the amount of sleep I get is out of my control. I sleep when I can but no, it’s not enough. Just waiting for my baby to grow older…
• Note 2: spending time outdoors is also not listed but I try to do #1-4 outside as much as I can because fresh air and sunlight have a huge impact on my mood and wellbeing!

1. Time alone: this is the hardest because as a mum it’s the one thing we don’t get much (or at all). But even if it’s 10-minutes to sit in silence, or to walk around the block (without pushing a buggy or carrying a scooter or grocery bags), or to have your morning coffee, it helps so much to feel like you’ve still got some personal space. Ideally I have some alone time and I get to do some of the following:
2. Home workouts: I use the Sweat-app to do half an hour workouts at home, three times a week. It’s currently the only thing I do for myself and feeling physically stronger and fitter really has an empowering effect and really boosts my mood. Recovering from my two back-to-back pregnancies is important too. Even 10-15 minutes of exercise helps if/when you haven’t got half an hour (or more)
3. Body conditioning: stretching, foam rolling and lying on my Pranamat (spikey massage mat). I use the Sweat-app for the recovery sessions as well because otherwise I forget
4. Mindfulness: This is really hard for me but to be able to relax and manage anxiety and stress, I’ve started using the Headspace-app for guided meditation and breathing practice. Even a 3-minute breathing practice can help to calm down
5. Home spa – the mum version: This can be just a shower alone (not a bath with the kids and no baby in a bouncer staring at you while you wash your hair). But if there’s a bit more time, a blow-dry, a good body moisturiser and a hydrating sheet mask make me feel like a new person!

Ironically what sparked this blog post is that I haven’t actually been feeling great today. Noah has been waking up up to six times per night and although he settles back down easily he won’t self settle, meaning that two hours is the longest stretch I get to sleep. I’m feeling quite exhausted and lethargic today and the weather isn’t helping (thunder coming). So as I was reminding myself of ways to try to make myself feel better, I thought to write down what’s helped me. 😊

So here’s to taking my own advice and hopefully feeling better again soon!

xoxoxo,

Sini